An ending but also a beginning.

My Father died of cancer in November 1983. From April 1983 I was on HMS Danae on patrol down in the South Atlantic,  I had been receiving updates about my Dad regularly and I knew he wasn't likely to survive. At the time I believed in God and Jesus and I prayed that my Dad would pull through, I also prayed that God should take me instead thinking that if that happened, my Dad would be fine and healthy. Yes, I know, naïve thinking. Obviously he died and I blamed God and from then till a few years ago, I totally rejected Christianity completely. However, a few years ago, I was on YouTube and I came across a video by a man called Michael Heiser who was a very well thought of as a biblical scholar and devout Christian. To cut a long story short, listening to him talking about his faith seemed to reawaken my interest in the bible, and today while sitting outside in the summer sunshine just thinking, something came into my head about why God refused to take me instead of my Dad. If God had agreed to accept my offer, I would have obviously been dead but, my Dad would have kept on suffering the intense pain of his cancer. 

I believe I was told that, and I believe the thought came from God, Jesus. Why, I don't know. Whatever it is, I am and always will be grateful. 

I promise that I will try and live the rest of my life, I'm 71, in a more meaningful way.